Muppet Zen

Christmas was this past Sunday (in case you missed it). We opened our presents to each other here, then went over to my sister-in-law's house for breakfast. We ate sausage balls, breakfast casserole, and cinnamon squares before heading into the living room for more present opening. My sister-in-law and her husband have three girls, plus there was me, my fiance, and his mother, and we all had presents to share with each other.

That was a fun time. There's nothing quite like watching three little girls growing more and more excited as they unwrap toys, books, clothes, and games. One of the joint presents that my fiance and I received was the soundtrack to the new Muppets movie. We are Muppet geeks (is there a fancy term for Muppet-lovers, something similar to Ringers or Trekkies?). We saw the new movie with my fiance's family on Thanksgiving and we will own it when it makes it to DVD in a few months. The soundtrack was a great gift for us (it's currently in my vehicle's CD player as we speak).

One of the songs on the CD is "Life's a Happy Song." For those readers who have seen the new movie, it's the song that Gary and Walter sing as they go through their hometown on their way to Los Angeles. It's a very fun, peppy song, the kind that really makes you feel cheerful when you listen to it. We had the soundtrack playing in the background while we got ready to take a family self-portrait and that was the song that was up. We were settling in on the couch, my sister-in-law was setting up the camera, one of the nieces crawled into my lap, and this was the line being sung on the song, "I've got everything that I need right in front of me."

It's just a simple line from a song but at that moment it hit me with such profound awareness that I could only call it a "Zen" moment - in better terms, a Muppet Zen moment. "I've got everything that I need right in front of me." Yes, I do! It was Christmas, the time of the year when the air is just thick with love, which is the greatest feeling of all, when your heart is full of gratitude for all the good things and good times you've received. I felt so blessed at that moment - I am so blessed!

There is a "True Rule" that Gretchen Rubin mentions in The Happiness Project and it goes something like this: "Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have." For me, this translates perfectly into the line from the song.

I have a wonderful, loving fiance who will become my husband in August. I adore his family. My in-laws are fantastic and affectionate and so much fun! I have the best friends and a great family. I have a roof over my head, two playful puppies, a job, my health, my creativity, and my spirituality. "I have everything that I need right in front of me!" This is an undeniable truth and I am so grateful for it each and every day.

Starting in January, I Will . . .

I know that it's only the 6th of December but I started making New Year's resolutions. I make them every year, of course, and sometimes I even stick to them (for at least a month). I love to set goals and get all fired up about them, or say that I'm going to change something and get all fired up about that. The firing up is nice. It's a good push. Unfortunately, the fire burns out before it gets too far.

My journal can attest to this. Honestly, you should see how many repeats I find when I go back and re-read old entries. I sit there thinking, Seriously, Tara? Can't you follow through on one thing? Can't you keep that fire burning for longer than a few days? But the answer is pretty much the same - no.

What are these "resolutions" that I speak of? Well, I'm glad you asked. They are along these lines:

1) I will volunteer with a shelter or Habitat for Humanity.
2) I will go to the UU Church every Sunday and get involved in their community.
3) I will exercise in some form every day.
4) I will give up fast food.
5) I will only drink alcohol on social occasions.
6) I will be more spiritual in general with my prayers, etc.
7) I will plant and tend a garden and work at it so it produces a good crop.
8) I will write a chapter in my book every week.

Pretty good, huh? Fairly simple, you'd think (well, maybe less simple on the whole gardening thing). You say, "Hey, Tara, you gave up beer for 30 days, you can do this too!" Right! Right? I think? Maybe?

I thought about these resolutions some more today. I decided that I wouldn't be so strict this month, what with the holidays and all and the busyness of the season. Then the rational voice in my mind (or perhaps Divine influence) suddenly said, "Tara, why are you procrastinating still? Why are you making the same excuses that you make every epiphany, every year? Why does there have to be a January 1 start date?"

I don't have to start on a specific date or the first of a week or a month. I can start right now. Right now I can decide that I will start my chapter for the week. Right now I can decide that I'll do an exercise routine when I get home from work. Right now I can decide that the only one in control of my life is ME! The only thing preventing me from accomplishing anything is ME!! And the only one that can change things and take the first steps is ME!!!

I came home from work and I did an exercise routine that I hadn't done in ages: Total Toning Basics from Yoga Booty Ballet. I did it all, but ouch. I'm going to be feeling that in my legs and arms and abs tomorrow! But you know what? I feel really darn good about following through on it.

Resolutions, glorious things that they are, are completely pointless. Making the decision to change your life - or making a decision on anything - that is more important. That is where the real magic lies.

Scorecard

Well, the 30 day no-beer challenge is up. How did I do on it? Pretty well. How did I do on the other stuff I talked about giving up that month like soda and fast food? Not so well!

Beer - 0
Soda - 2
Fast Food - um

But you know what? It's all okay. The fact that I at least stuck to my guns on one thing (with the beer) is a good sign and a good proof that I can do whatever I put my mind to.

Movement is Required

They were sitting in my closet, all shiny and new, and they seemed to be calling to me, "Come, put us on! Take a walk! You know you want to!" Yes, I'm talking about my tennis shoes (running shoes, sneakers, whatever you want to call them). I had bought them the weekend before along with a pair of Yoga pants, determined that I was going to start going to our work's gym at lunch and walking on the treadmill.

Yeah. Right.

The first two days of last week I forgot to bring the gym bag, although it was packed. I brought it Wednesday and it was still there on Thursday, but, alas, it remained sadly on the floor of my cubicle. I glanced down at it and thought, "I'm really going to do this. I'm going to put together an exercise plan, starting on Sunday. We're going to walk the dogs!"

Strangely enough, we did actually walk the dogs on Sunday! The new shoes have been broken in! How great walking feels! What a pretty neighborhood we have to walk around in! What a pain-in-the-butt Atreyu is to walk on a leash! (Thankfully my wonderful fiance took care of him while I handled Sebastian, the easier dog.) We walked down to the duck pond, caught sight of a blue heron, then headed back up and around the neighborhood until we returned to our street. It was a nice, cool day. The dogs had a great time, and you know what? So did we.

This is good, right? I can do this! That's what I told myself! If I can stick with the plan and walk the dogs on Sunday, then I can stick with the plan for this week.

I know that it's only Monday but so far, so good. We got up this morning and did AM Yoga. It was a nice day today (well, it was at lunchtime, at least) and I took a twenty-minute walk around my work campus. My legs were thoroughly confused and they protested a bit before the walk was over, but I did it! I even ate a healthy lunch. I feel slimmer already. And surely yesterday and today's exercise burned off those calories from the chocolate peppermint cookies I ate Saturday evening . . .

Cookies aside . . . I like this whole morning yoga/walking at lunch/healthy food thing that I'm aiming for. I've aimed for it before (and failed quite miserably) but I know that if I set my mind to it, then I can accomplish whatever goal I've established. This will be great for my health and life in the long run. Yes, getting back down to a smaller size in clothing will be nice (and looking gorgeous in my wedding dress next year is even better) but I really look forward to being in the best shape for hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

I would like to tell you about my best friend Nichole because she is my biggest inspiration in life right now. Last year in October, she set a weight loss and toning up goal. She has more than succeeded at this. She is kicking some major butt in the fitness department. She's even running! And let me tell you, she is looking great. I love it when she texts me a picture of the new mileage she's met in running or when she's reached a new goal. I am so proud of her. It's not just fitness, either. She and her husband planted a garden last year and got a great crop. They've been canning and making amazing meals with their produce. I wish my garden had done quite so well! But most importantly, I can admire her motivation and her determination and use her as an example of how to stick to my goals, stay motivated, and live life to my fullest potential. Thank you, Nichole, and keep pushing for what you want. You are a wonderful person, I love you like a sister, and I know that you can do anything!

It's the Little Things

Today is the day that the new Halo game comes out. This might not mean much to some of you but to my fiance it means a great deal. He's been like a little kid at Christmas this past week, waiting for this game to come out. It's very sweet. And it makes me realize that sometimes it's the little things in life that truly make us happy.

What do I mean? Well, some people think that they need big things to make them happy. "I will be happier if only . . . I had a new job, a new husband, a new house, etc." I admit, I have been one of these people in the past (I probably still do it from time to time). But why these "big" things can make people happy, it's only a temporary happiness. It's like buying new clothes or a new purse or getting a new haircut. There's a technical term for this but I don't remember what it is. The truth is, however, that it's not the big things but the little things that matter most in life and can add to your long-term happiness.

This past Sunday was spent working in our front yard. The house that we live in belonged to my fiance's maternal grandparents. I understand that they took great care of the yard when they lived here but it's been abandoned for many years and the yard has fallen into neglect. Leaves from our abundant neighborhood trees killed the grass, allowing weeds and poison ivy to grow instead. The decorative ivy that connects the two tiers of the yard took over everything, especially the steps from the street to the house. Getting the yard back into shape has been a struggle and we still have much to do, but we've come so far too! The stairs from the street to the upper tier of the yard have now been cleared of ivy. There's only the section of the sidewalk leading to the house on the upper tier that needs done. Trees have been trimmed and leaves have been blown. Azaleas have been trimmed (and some have been taken out completely). It may not seem like much but it has already made such a difference in the appearance of the front yard.

It's the little things, you see. Yes, in the long run this yard will be beautiful and grassy and kept in constant care with fixed fences and blooming peonies. This is a big goal and small steps need to be taken to achieve it. Every little accomplishment, no matter how tiny it might seem, is still an accomplishment, it's still a step that's now been completed to lead to the bigger goal. Yards are no easy work by any means, regardless of what shape they're in, but think of the happiness that can be found by growing your own vegetables and smelling your own flowers.

The little things are the best things. Coming home to excited puppies. My fiance coming home from work. Supper with family. Playing Cranium with friends. Standing in the yard surrounded by beautiful trees blazing in red and gold and watching the leaves fall, gently blown down from the passing breeze. Autumn is passing, and soon the little joys of winter will be ours.

30 Days?

At the start of November, my household dove into a thirty-day challenge. What is it? We gave up beer for the entire month.

I know, some of you are thinking, beer? That's it? Why not give up chocolate? (I'm not sure I could ever do that). Why not take on a more physical challenge of exercise or learning a new hobby? Why not take on a challenge as creatively stimulating as my (future) sister-in-law, who wrote a blog post every day for thirty days? (Her blog, by the way, is A Planting of the Lord - seriously, check it out, she's an amazing writer) But, no, us beer snobs decided to give up beer completely for one month.

What is the purpose of this, you may ask. Well, for me it's because I've noticed that while I like the taste of beer, I don't like the way it affects me. Plus, sometime in the near future, a time will come when I have to give it up for nine months so why not go ahead and start early? I'm not an alcoholic nor have I ever been. For me, this is not so much a health challenge as it is a general challenge to see if I can decide to do something and stick with it. The people who know me well will tell you that I am notorious for my indecision. I can hardly make up my mind about anything and whenever I think I do, I change it within days (sometimes even minutes or seconds). I made the conscious decision to give up beer a week or two before November started and so far, I've stuck with it. I also decided to give up soda and fast food (I did slip up on that one over the weekend when I ordered fries and a peppermint chocolate chip milkshake from Chik-fil-a, which, I might add, was absolutely delicious).

This may be a small challenge, yes, but as most people know, sometimes you have to take a big goal and break it into small, little baby steps. If I can decide to give up beer for thirty days and succeed at this, then perhaps next month I can try something bigger (like, yoga every day, perhaps?). And if I can stay firm in this decision and stick with it regardless, then this is a lesson that I can apply to other parts of my life (finish writing a novel comes to mind).

When Little Girls Grow Up

I remember when you were born. You and your older sister were always dressed alike and people thought you were twins, but you would say in your little girl voice, "We're not twins! We're tixteen months apart!" I had to dress as Ariel the little mermaid for your birthday but your favorite Disney movie quickly became Beauty and the Beast. The years passed by. You went from dance to softball. You soon became taller than me. And then one day I went to your high school graduation and I was introduced to your new boyfriend. Now that man is your husband.

Yesterday was my cousin Mallory's wedding. She's my second cousin to get married (the first was McKenzie). She was absolutely beautiful and everything went perfect and now she's a wife and she's off on her honeymoon.

I know that this is all very real but to me it seems impossible. How could any of my seven younger cousins be old enough to get married? How could one of them, McKenzie, be old enough to have a little girl? I remember when they were born, when they went through chicken pox, when they were little enough to drive me crazy, and now two are married, one's a mother, and the very youngest is about to graduate high school.

It's the same way with my younger siblings. How could Eric be turning 30 next year? How could Trevor be nearly 13 and as tall as me? How could Elizabeth be in high school already? Where does the time go?

You see, that's the funny thing about time. We never think we have enough of it and it seems to slip so quickly from our grasp. I think a lot of this springs from not being aware of the present moment. Stop and take a minute to think about where you are right now, what you are doing, what is surrounding you. Right now I'm sitting in my dad's house in the Midwest, typing up a blog on his computer. He and my stepmother and my three half-brothers have gone to church. My brother Eric is sleeping downstairs. I have two aunts just down the street and my grandma. The sun is shining and it's the end of October.

But don't just take this minute to become aware of your present moment. Take this minute to be grateful for everything that you have been blessed with in your life. I am grateful that I had the vacation time from work to come back to my hometown for my cousin's wedding. I am grateful that Dad had the airline reward points to get my ticket. I am grateful that I got to spend time with my wonderful family and my best friend in the whole world. I am grateful that Mallory's now new husband Dale survived his year in Afghanistan. I am grateful that Mallory and Dale's wedding went off just as well as they wanted. I am grateful that I got to laugh and dance and talk and bask in the awesome love of my family. And I am grateful that tonight I get to come home to my loving fiance and two puppies.

The Path - revisited

I was looking something up for a friend on my flash drive and came across something I wrote called "The Path." Apparently I typed it up back in October 2006. I must have just finished meditating or was doing some computer journal work when I came up with it. I opened it tonight to read it. What a powerful message! I'm not sure what my feelings were at the time I wrote it but I was in a very different place five years ago than I am now. However, the spiritual journey or, rather, the message for my spiritual journey, is very much the same. I'm going to add it to this post because it truly relates to what I'm attempting right now.

The Path (originally written 23 Oct 2006)

The path you’re set upon is never easy. It takes hard work, perseverance, and great courage to make it to your goal.

These are the things you must do, and they will be difficult. But if you wish for peace, you must do all of this. If you sit back, if you try to take an easier road, then the goal will not be achieved by you, but by someone else, and that someone else is not necessarily the person who was meant to reach it.

You will face many adversaries, but the greatest of these will be your own fear. Embrace it, but do not let it control you. Fear is a double-edged sword. It can work to your advantage, but it can also lead to your downfall.

This is what you must do. Listen to these words and heed them well. Above all, I want you to remember this: the goal cannot be achieved alone. Do not try to go for it alone, for life cannot be lived in solitude. It will take many hands to clear the way.

First, trust your intuition. It will guide you down the right path if you listen. When a dream is not just a dream, a memory not just a memory, when something is telling you that things are wrong, this is your intuition. There are some who will try to swerve you from your intuition, but these are false friends whose negativity is not needed in your life right now. Trust yourself. Only then can you be trusted by others.

Second and equally important are faith and belief. There are those who say these are two different things, but they are in fact the same. Belief in yourself, belief in others, even when people tell you that you’re wrong, that is faith. It is also a part of trust. Trust that everything is all right, believe that things will work out, and have faith that your prayers are answered. Only when you believe in yourself can others believe in you.

The third is seeking. You have questions that need answers. Why is the sky blue? How are rainbows formed? Why do I feel unhappy? You are seeking for truth, both inner and outer. The world is full of truths, sometimes disguised in the most colorful of forms: a fairy tale, a nursery rhyme, a conversation with a friend, the smile on a child’s face when they see a butterfly. If you’ve taken this path, then you have already begun to seek. Whether it’s in quiet meditation, the noise of city traffic, or the voice of the wind, seek for your own wisdom. Once you know yourself, then others can know you, too.

The fourth is love. What is love? How can it be defined? Romance? Flowers? Chocolate? Sex? Family? Friendship? Is there true love? Real love? What does it mean to you? Can you answer this question? The love we see in movies, read in books, hear in songs means nothing if we do not know what love is, and the only way to know that is to learn to love yourself. Love everything about you; embrace every part of your being. Do not view yourself as unworthy, too fat or too skinny, too freckled or too pale. Every part of you is beautiful, and every part of you is worth your love. After all, only by truly loving ourselves can we learn to be loved by others, and to love them in return.

The fifth is emotion. Emotions are everything. They can affect our mood, our day, our year. How are you feeling right now? Have you taken a close look at your feelings lately? If we’re happy, it’s a good day. If we’re sad, it’s a bad day. Do not let bad or sad feelings weigh you down. Do not let them shape your day. After all, it is safe to think that whatever we put out, we receive, which leads us into the next paragraph.

Number six is giving and receiving. What you give, you get back. If you put out love and friendliness, you receive love and friendliness in return. If you put out anger and negativity, then that is what comes back to you. It is an equal share, giving and receiving. When you give to the universe, the universe gives back. Why would we want to give ourselves sorrow or despair? No, we want happiness and joy. We want good friends, loving relationships, family, homes, security, etc., and we can have all that. We just need to take the right steps.

The path of life is a journey, from beginning to end. It goes uphill, downhill, through the dark forest, around corners, across the river. As I said before, it will not be easy. But if you learn to trust, to believe, to seek, to love, to feel, to give and receive, then you’re on your way to your goal and the dream becomes a reality.

Camping is Good for Your Soul

This past weekend was spent camping at a little secluded spot in Pisgah National Forest with just my husband-to-be and our two dogs (for the record, the youngest, Atreyu, is a luxury-seeking puppy who refused to lay on the ground by the campfire Saturday night and would settle for nothing less than his dog bed). The nights were a bit chilly as it is October and in the mountains, and occasionally you're woken up by a rustling that has your brain screaming, "BEAR!!!!!" (Fortunately the bears were either in hibernation mode or just weren't that interested in eating people) There's nothing quite so charming as camping: the campfire, the s'mores, the pile of blankets to keep out the chill, pancakes cooked over a single-burner Coleman stove, peeing in the woods, mourning the lack of a hot morning shower, and did I mention the s'mores? (Campfire, bonfire, fire pit = s'mores always)

Seriously, roasted marshmallows/Hershey bar/graham cracker combos and non-existent indoor plumbing aside, camping is one of my favorite things to do outdoors. The forest and the surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains (primarily above 3000 feet) were a kaleidoscope of reds, oranges, and golds. Owls hooted around us the first night, the moon was shining brightly (nearly at full), bats chirped (squeaked?) in the darkness, and there was stillness and stars and solitude. It was wonderful and relaxing, a true mini-vacation for my mini-family.

On Sunday, we drove north on the Blue Ridge Parkway from the entrance by Mt. Pisgah and onto the Linn Cove Viaduct. This is an interesting feature of architecture. Here the parkway literally comes off the mountain and over the valley. This had to be done to protect the fragile native habitat. It's worth the drive to see the viaduct, especially in the autumn.

My future husband was of course wonderful and brilliant and helpful on this trip. I was less than appreciative of his efforts, for which I am very sorry. Working on my appreciation when people I love do something good in my life is one of the things I need to work on, as is looking for the positive instead of the negative. This change is something I hope to accomplish soon with my happiness project (which I've slacked off on lately, I'm afraid). The best thing to do is look at any mistakes that I make on this path of personal growth and learn from them. It is a lesson that perhaps many people need to take to heart on their own life paths.

Camping + nature + autumn in the Blue Ridge Mountains equals a state of happiness that I would like to feel every day. Spending time out in nature is often a spiritual and religious experience for me. I come back feeling refreshed and grounded. I also come back feeling very inspired (it works some major mojo on writer's block).

This will be our last camping trip of the year because the rest of October is pretty well booked for us (my cousin is getting married at the end of the month and I will be traveling to that) and winter is fast approaching (which means - gasp! - so is Christmas). We went camping twice this year (that's one more than last year and I can't even count how many years it had been before that since I'd gone). We plan on making more than two trips next year as well as one day taking our children on camping trips so they can love and appreciate nature the way that we do.

Nature, my friends, is beautiful and powerful and uplifting, not just in the color splendor of autumn but any time of the year, even in the white stillness of winter. If you have the opportunity to get out, whether it's in the mountains or a local forest or a lake, do it! You will come back with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor and a new outlook on the world. Nature is good for your soul.

My New 13 Personal Commandments

I know that when I first finished The Happiness Project that I came up with personal commandments, much like the author Gretchen Rubin did. The last few days of this week, in my free time, I made a list of things I could do to bring more happiness to my life. I figured that although I'd written down some resolutions, this exercise would help me finalize them. It did! Not only that, it helped me come up with a new 13 personal commandments (also known as rules to live life by).

1) Remember to say "Thank you"
2) Remember to breathe
3) Treat others with fairness and respect
4) Look within myself
5) Ask for help
6) Follow my passions
7) Open heart, open mind
8) Live in the moment
9) Choose my words carefully
10) Listen
11) Keep the faith
12) Live life to the fullest
13) Be happy

I typed these commandments up and printed them out. One I keep at my desk at work. The other I'm going to put up on my vision board (a useful visualization tool that I picked up from The Secret).

I think I'm going to do something similar to what Gretchen Rubin did and focus on a specific idea every month. For her first month, she did "Vitality" and "Energy". I'll make October my first month and I think I'll start with "Energy" as well. Now just to figure out the resolutions I want to focus on this month in my own happiness project.

Happy October, everyone!

Of Mountains and Aching Legs

Yes! I can put a little gold star next to a resolution (except that I don't have it really set up that way). One of my goals was to hike in the mountains once a month. I mean, they're only 30 - 60 minutes away (depending on where you're going) so why not enjoy them? I have always loved the mountains, having spent multiple summers in Colorado as a child on family vacations. The mountains here are the Blue Ridge Mountains and even though I've seen the grandeur of the Rockies, I love my Appalachians best of all.

We drove up to Mile Marker 422 on the Blue Ridge Parkway to a summit called Devil's Courthouse. It got its name from many folk legends in the area, including an idea that there's a cave in the mountain where the devil holds court. There's also a Cherokee legend about a slant-eyed giant named Judaculla who used to live and dance in there (I like that legend better but then I tend to enjoy Native American mythology). The hike to the summit is one mile but it is a very steep and strenuous hike. The view is completely worth it!

After we went hiking there, we drove a little further down the parkway and got off on NC 215 to head to Courthouse Falls. I have a book on North Carolina Waterfalls. One of my lifetime goals is to visit nearly every single fall listed in the book. I know that some might have changed or disappeared in the years since the book was published but I still think it's a good goal. Courthouse Falls was a new one for us and it was a nice, even hike, although the stairs to the base were pretty steep. It is a waterfall that is beautiful to see, but unfortunately it doesn't translate well to film - at least, not to my film! It kind of looks like a white blob! I love waterfalls and I had a perfect moment standing at the top of the stairs to the base (Chris and I took turns waiting up there with the puppies because they were not dog-friendly steps). It was a beautiful cool autumn day. The rushing of the waterfall filled my ears. There was a gentle breeze blowing and yellow leaves just kept tumbling down through the air to land at my feet. It was a beautiful, peaceful moment in nature, something I truly needed to ground myself and restore balance.

For me, that's what nature does. It grounds me, reconnects me to the Earth, restores my inner spiritual balance. The rustling of trees, the roaring rush of a waterfall, the clear song of a bird, the smell of the first of the fallen leaves dying into the soil - to me, wandering through the Blue Ridge Mountains is like Heaven on Earth.

It was also a good bit of exercise (as my sore muscle legs tell me today). That brings me to another two of my resolutions: to eat healthy and to exercise. I've said many times that I'm going to improve in that area. I start but then I slack off. Now is the time for me to take it seriously. In fact, I even bought a new DVD from Target today called "Dancercise" which has four dancing work-outs in it (jazz, hip-hop, salsa, and belly dancing). Dancing is one of the things that brings me joy. I love music and moving to music. I think that this will be a good start to getting me on the right path to a healthier, happier, in-shape me!

Puppy Love

I'm spending a quiet evening of "me time" at home with just my two puppies as company. You know, I really do love those two. Yes, dogs are a lot of work and sometimes it's a pain to get up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to take them out but they are also such a great source of constant joy. In this house on work days, I get home first (except on Fridays). Hard day at work? There's nothing quite as uplifting as an excited puppy face greeting you when you open the door. They're so happy to see you and to be petted. You know they'd be crying, "Hi, Mom! Welcome home!" if only they had the right vocal chords for speech.

Dogs are also a great source of constant love. They show only affection. They are loyal, playful, and carefree. They love you unconditionally. Perhaps these are lessons that they can teach us human beings.

Each dog is a unique creature of nature. Take my two, for example. Sebastian is a Welsh Corgi and the oldest at six years. He is incredibly well-behaved, patient, adoring, and calm. If he is sitting next to you on the couch, he will happily crawl into your lap and look up at you with his big brown eyes that say, "I love you. You're awesome." Atreyu is the youngest at only eleven months so he is still very much a puppy! He is a pit bull/boxer mix and quite a little spitfire. He loves to play, especially if it involves throwing his Kong toy for him to chase. He's also quite content curling up next to you on the couch with his head resting against your legs or knees. Atreyu is definitely a pack animal. He will follow you anywhere in the house as long as he's by you. Sebastian is content sometimes to go off by himself but when he is with the dogs of our friends, his herding instincts take over (the Welsh use them to herd sheep) and he likes to keep everyone in line!

I won't lie to you. I'll admit that sometimes owning a dog (or two) can be a bit stressful or expensive. Atreyu's stubbornness (that's the boxer in him) can sometimes make me mad, but you know what? I wouldn't give up either dog for the world. I love my two little boys!

The Game Plan Today

Today I begin the most arduous of tasks: cleaning and decluttering my closet. I have so many papers, magazines, bags, clothing, etc. thrown into it and lying about that I'm almost frightened of what I'll find. Then I think about how great it felt after this was done to the kitchen and I know that this will feel just as fantastic.

Later this afternoon we may work out in the front yard. There's another gigantic task. However, we had a nice conversation this morning about it and what needs to be done. I decided to start a spring fund. I'll put so many dollars or any loose change into it every week so that by the time spring rolls around, I'll probably have a good amount saved that can go towards new sod, flowers, and vegetables. People talk about using feng shui on the house (which I've done in past residences and need to do in this house) but you know what? Sometimes the yard needs that too. It's all about the energy that greets you when you come home.

Picture this: you pull into your driveway, past colorful fall mums. You park your car and walk onto the porch with its windchimes tinkling in the autumn breeze. The leaves of the trees are changing. That wonderful scent of autumn is in the air. You walk into the house and are greeted by one of your puppies. The kitchen is bright and welcoming. You take care of the dogs and you go into your sanctuary of a bedroom with its green walls and warm, inviting furniture.

Now picture this: you pull into a driveway, past overgrown weeds and ivy that just doesn't die. You go into your kitchen and all you see are the dirty dishes, the toaster that was left out. You take care of the dogs and you go into a bedroom with a bed that's not made and when you go to change your clothes you enter a closet overflowing with random mail, Rachael Ray magazines, scattered shoes, and Michael's shopping bags.

Which scene do you think you'd prefer?

It's not essentially about being neat and tidy all the time. It's about the way a room or a yard or the whole house feels. We are made up of energy, we are surrounded by a world made up of energy, we put out energy into the world that influences other people. We are extremely sensitive to other energies, whether they're good or bad. Your home should have positive, loving energy. You should feel good when you drive into the yard or enter the house. It should be a sanctuary. And if it's not, don't you think it's time that you made it that way?

Writing on Writing

I've been trying to finish writing my book for a while now. The last couple of weeks I've been having some trouble finding inspiration. I had my fiance read what I'd written so far. He said it was good and he looked forward to more. I tried to continue the story after his review but it just wasn't happening. Something wasn't clicking.

I meditated on this last night and came to a conclusion: I spend too much time focusing on, "Is this story good enough for publishing?" I should be writing this book for myself, not for any success that comes with it. I mean, the success will be nice (and I believe it's possible) but the real satisfying part? Finally finishing the book. It will be a huge sense of accomplishment and will help set the way for many more writing accomplishments.

I thought about it a little bit more on some down time during my day. This book that I'm working on is over ten years old and it's been through some major plot overhauls. Today I realized that I'd lost the original idea, the original feelings, the original inspiration when I came up with the story idea. These thoughts made me realize what the problem was. The story was lacking heart. Yes, I was writing good scenes with the right kind of action but it wasn't really the story of my characters. Somewhere along the way of rethinking and overhauling I'd lost the voice of my main characters, the heart of those characters, and the experiences they need to be sharing.

At that moment, everything clicked into place. Luckily I had paper on hand and jotted down my notes. It was fantastic! I feel exhilarated and excited and ready to write! I know that this is what I need in order to get it done. And it will be finished. I know that for certain.

Day of Declutter

Let me just tell you that Gretchen Rubin is right, there is nothing like decluttering your space. My fiance and I just decluttered our kitchen. The change in there is amazing! The house we live in belonged to his grandparents and there were things in the cabinets that had been in there for years. We also have the extra dishes, pots, etc. that come from combining two households. We got rid of six boxes of things to take to Goodwill, plus came up with new decorating ideas. It's amazing in the kitchen right now. All of our cleaning supplies are in one place. We can walk into the pantry without items bulging everywhere. The glasses don't look so tightly squeezed, we could display our beer growlers better, and we got some good cleaning done. I recommend this project to anyone! You'd be surprised at what's in your kitchen that you no longer need or what treasures you can find. We were talking about buying containers for popcorn, rice, etc. and we ended up finding glass containers under the cabinets that we could use. It's always good to recycle!

Thus Far

So today I put together some personal commandments and resolutions for my project. They're all subject to change, of course (what isn't?) but this is what I've gotten so far:

My 9 Commandments:
1) Be Tara
2) Treat others the way I want to be treated
3) Listen to my heart
4) Follow my passion
5) Look within myself for divinity
6) Create
7) Bless everything
8) Act the way I want to feel
9) Be aware

I came up with various resolutions too. Some are perhaps a little different but, hey, it's a start!
1) Exercise at least 15 minutes every day
2) Meditate at least 10 minutes a day
3) Follow through on plans
4) Write at least 400 words a day on my book
5) Eat more fruits and vegetables
6) Cook one new recipe a week
7) Be more adventurous
8) Volunteer
9) Join a social group
10) Listen
11) Engage in conversations
12) Join the UU church
13) Honor the sabbats
14) Abolish clutter
15) Hike in the mountains at least once a month
16) Walk the dogs
17) Plant and tend a successful garden
18) Use natural beauty and cleaning products
19) Fix my hair in the morning
20) Update my wardrobe
21) Pay off debt
22) Completely plan my wedding
23) Remember birthdays (mail cards and presents on time
24) Decorate the house (interior)
25) Always clean up after messes
26) Laugh more often
27) Take time to play
28) Establish holiday and seasonal traditions
29) Look for joy
30) Forgive
31) Let go
32) Spend more time outdoors
33) Expand reading
34) Work on a blog
35) Gratitude
36) Play new games
37) Buy a bicycle
38) Discover my true self
39) Take time for myself

Well, here's to the start of things! Now to put these resolutions and this happiness project into action!

My guide

http://www.happiness-project.com/

Check it out. This is the official website of The Happiness Project. She also has a Facebook page.

Inspired

Today I finished reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I've started to really enjoy these non-fiction books about people's experiences. This one was the best so far. I am happy but, much like her view on the subject, I could always be doing something to make myself happier. After all, I am the creator of my life. Why not create it with happiness and love and joy? I can create my perfect life. I can create Tara.

I've known for a few years that I had the ability to change my life thanks to my discovery of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. There have been a few times when I've taken the right positive steps and I have brought many good things into my life (my fiance is a perfect example) but I tend to slip up and not keep up with the ideas. It's time for that to change. I'm going to start my own happiness project. I know that this won't always be easy but I believe that I can make this positive change. I will keep the faith and I will succeed.

Over the next few days I'm going to focus on the steps I need to take to get this project started. I know I can do this. I have the universe on my side.