I remember when you were born. You and your older sister were always dressed alike and people thought you were twins, but you would say in your little girl voice, "We're not twins! We're tixteen months apart!" I had to dress as Ariel the little mermaid for your birthday but your favorite Disney movie quickly became Beauty and the Beast. The years passed by. You went from dance to softball. You soon became taller than me. And then one day I went to your high school graduation and I was introduced to your new boyfriend. Now that man is your husband.
Yesterday was my cousin Mallory's wedding. She's my second cousin to get married (the first was McKenzie). She was absolutely beautiful and everything went perfect and now she's a wife and she's off on her honeymoon.
I know that this is all very real but to me it seems impossible. How could any of my seven younger cousins be old enough to get married? How could one of them, McKenzie, be old enough to have a little girl? I remember when they were born, when they went through chicken pox, when they were little enough to drive me crazy, and now two are married, one's a mother, and the very youngest is about to graduate high school.
It's the same way with my younger siblings. How could Eric be turning 30 next year? How could Trevor be nearly 13 and as tall as me? How could Elizabeth be in high school already? Where does the time go?
You see, that's the funny thing about time. We never think we have enough of it and it seems to slip so quickly from our grasp. I think a lot of this springs from not being aware of the present moment. Stop and take a minute to think about where you are right now, what you are doing, what is surrounding you. Right now I'm sitting in my dad's house in the Midwest, typing up a blog on his computer. He and my stepmother and my three half-brothers have gone to church. My brother Eric is sleeping downstairs. I have two aunts just down the street and my grandma. The sun is shining and it's the end of October.
But don't just take this minute to become aware of your present moment. Take this minute to be grateful for everything that you have been blessed with in your life. I am grateful that I had the vacation time from work to come back to my hometown for my cousin's wedding. I am grateful that Dad had the airline reward points to get my ticket. I am grateful that I got to spend time with my wonderful family and my best friend in the whole world. I am grateful that Mallory's now new husband Dale survived his year in Afghanistan. I am grateful that Mallory and Dale's wedding went off just as well as they wanted. I am grateful that I got to laugh and dance and talk and bask in the awesome love of my family. And I am grateful that tonight I get to come home to my loving fiance and two puppies.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The Path - revisited
I was looking something up for a friend on my flash drive and came across something I wrote called "The Path." Apparently I typed it up back in October 2006. I must have just finished meditating or was doing some computer journal work when I came up with it. I opened it tonight to read it. What a powerful message! I'm not sure what my feelings were at the time I wrote it but I was in a very different place five years ago than I am now. However, the spiritual journey or, rather, the message for my spiritual journey, is very much the same. I'm going to add it to this post because it truly relates to what I'm attempting right now.
The Path (originally written 23 Oct 2006)
The path you’re set upon is never easy. It takes hard work, perseverance, and great courage to make it to your goal.
These are the things you must do, and they will be difficult. But if you wish for peace, you must do all of this. If you sit back, if you try to take an easier road, then the goal will not be achieved by you, but by someone else, and that someone else is not necessarily the person who was meant to reach it.
You will face many adversaries, but the greatest of these will be your own fear. Embrace it, but do not let it control you. Fear is a double-edged sword. It can work to your advantage, but it can also lead to your downfall.
This is what you must do. Listen to these words and heed them well. Above all, I want you to remember this: the goal cannot be achieved alone. Do not try to go for it alone, for life cannot be lived in solitude. It will take many hands to clear the way.
First, trust your intuition. It will guide you down the right path if you listen. When a dream is not just a dream, a memory not just a memory, when something is telling you that things are wrong, this is your intuition. There are some who will try to swerve you from your intuition, but these are false friends whose negativity is not needed in your life right now. Trust yourself. Only then can you be trusted by others.
Second and equally important are faith and belief. There are those who say these are two different things, but they are in fact the same. Belief in yourself, belief in others, even when people tell you that you’re wrong, that is faith. It is also a part of trust. Trust that everything is all right, believe that things will work out, and have faith that your prayers are answered. Only when you believe in yourself can others believe in you.
The third is seeking. You have questions that need answers. Why is the sky blue? How are rainbows formed? Why do I feel unhappy? You are seeking for truth, both inner and outer. The world is full of truths, sometimes disguised in the most colorful of forms: a fairy tale, a nursery rhyme, a conversation with a friend, the smile on a child’s face when they see a butterfly. If you’ve taken this path, then you have already begun to seek. Whether it’s in quiet meditation, the noise of city traffic, or the voice of the wind, seek for your own wisdom. Once you know yourself, then others can know you, too.
The fourth is love. What is love? How can it be defined? Romance? Flowers? Chocolate? Sex? Family? Friendship? Is there true love? Real love? What does it mean to you? Can you answer this question? The love we see in movies, read in books, hear in songs means nothing if we do not know what love is, and the only way to know that is to learn to love yourself. Love everything about you; embrace every part of your being. Do not view yourself as unworthy, too fat or too skinny, too freckled or too pale. Every part of you is beautiful, and every part of you is worth your love. After all, only by truly loving ourselves can we learn to be loved by others, and to love them in return.
The fifth is emotion. Emotions are everything. They can affect our mood, our day, our year. How are you feeling right now? Have you taken a close look at your feelings lately? If we’re happy, it’s a good day. If we’re sad, it’s a bad day. Do not let bad or sad feelings weigh you down. Do not let them shape your day. After all, it is safe to think that whatever we put out, we receive, which leads us into the next paragraph.
Number six is giving and receiving. What you give, you get back. If you put out love and friendliness, you receive love and friendliness in return. If you put out anger and negativity, then that is what comes back to you. It is an equal share, giving and receiving. When you give to the universe, the universe gives back. Why would we want to give ourselves sorrow or despair? No, we want happiness and joy. We want good friends, loving relationships, family, homes, security, etc., and we can have all that. We just need to take the right steps.
The path of life is a journey, from beginning to end. It goes uphill, downhill, through the dark forest, around corners, across the river. As I said before, it will not be easy. But if you learn to trust, to believe, to seek, to love, to feel, to give and receive, then you’re on your way to your goal and the dream becomes a reality.
The Path (originally written 23 Oct 2006)
The path you’re set upon is never easy. It takes hard work, perseverance, and great courage to make it to your goal.
These are the things you must do, and they will be difficult. But if you wish for peace, you must do all of this. If you sit back, if you try to take an easier road, then the goal will not be achieved by you, but by someone else, and that someone else is not necessarily the person who was meant to reach it.
You will face many adversaries, but the greatest of these will be your own fear. Embrace it, but do not let it control you. Fear is a double-edged sword. It can work to your advantage, but it can also lead to your downfall.
This is what you must do. Listen to these words and heed them well. Above all, I want you to remember this: the goal cannot be achieved alone. Do not try to go for it alone, for life cannot be lived in solitude. It will take many hands to clear the way.
First, trust your intuition. It will guide you down the right path if you listen. When a dream is not just a dream, a memory not just a memory, when something is telling you that things are wrong, this is your intuition. There are some who will try to swerve you from your intuition, but these are false friends whose negativity is not needed in your life right now. Trust yourself. Only then can you be trusted by others.
Second and equally important are faith and belief. There are those who say these are two different things, but they are in fact the same. Belief in yourself, belief in others, even when people tell you that you’re wrong, that is faith. It is also a part of trust. Trust that everything is all right, believe that things will work out, and have faith that your prayers are answered. Only when you believe in yourself can others believe in you.
The third is seeking. You have questions that need answers. Why is the sky blue? How are rainbows formed? Why do I feel unhappy? You are seeking for truth, both inner and outer. The world is full of truths, sometimes disguised in the most colorful of forms: a fairy tale, a nursery rhyme, a conversation with a friend, the smile on a child’s face when they see a butterfly. If you’ve taken this path, then you have already begun to seek. Whether it’s in quiet meditation, the noise of city traffic, or the voice of the wind, seek for your own wisdom. Once you know yourself, then others can know you, too.
The fourth is love. What is love? How can it be defined? Romance? Flowers? Chocolate? Sex? Family? Friendship? Is there true love? Real love? What does it mean to you? Can you answer this question? The love we see in movies, read in books, hear in songs means nothing if we do not know what love is, and the only way to know that is to learn to love yourself. Love everything about you; embrace every part of your being. Do not view yourself as unworthy, too fat or too skinny, too freckled or too pale. Every part of you is beautiful, and every part of you is worth your love. After all, only by truly loving ourselves can we learn to be loved by others, and to love them in return.
The fifth is emotion. Emotions are everything. They can affect our mood, our day, our year. How are you feeling right now? Have you taken a close look at your feelings lately? If we’re happy, it’s a good day. If we’re sad, it’s a bad day. Do not let bad or sad feelings weigh you down. Do not let them shape your day. After all, it is safe to think that whatever we put out, we receive, which leads us into the next paragraph.
Number six is giving and receiving. What you give, you get back. If you put out love and friendliness, you receive love and friendliness in return. If you put out anger and negativity, then that is what comes back to you. It is an equal share, giving and receiving. When you give to the universe, the universe gives back. Why would we want to give ourselves sorrow or despair? No, we want happiness and joy. We want good friends, loving relationships, family, homes, security, etc., and we can have all that. We just need to take the right steps.
The path of life is a journey, from beginning to end. It goes uphill, downhill, through the dark forest, around corners, across the river. As I said before, it will not be easy. But if you learn to trust, to believe, to seek, to love, to feel, to give and receive, then you’re on your way to your goal and the dream becomes a reality.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Camping is Good for Your Soul
This past weekend was spent camping at a little secluded spot in Pisgah National Forest with just my husband-to-be and our two dogs (for the record, the youngest, Atreyu, is a luxury-seeking puppy who refused to lay on the ground by the campfire Saturday night and would settle for nothing less than his dog bed). The nights were a bit chilly as it is October and in the mountains, and occasionally you're woken up by a rustling that has your brain screaming, "BEAR!!!!!" (Fortunately the bears were either in hibernation mode or just weren't that interested in eating people) There's nothing quite so charming as camping: the campfire, the s'mores, the pile of blankets to keep out the chill, pancakes cooked over a single-burner Coleman stove, peeing in the woods, mourning the lack of a hot morning shower, and did I mention the s'mores? (Campfire, bonfire, fire pit = s'mores always)
Seriously, roasted marshmallows/Hershey bar/graham cracker combos and non-existent indoor plumbing aside, camping is one of my favorite things to do outdoors. The forest and the surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains (primarily above 3000 feet) were a kaleidoscope of reds, oranges, and golds. Owls hooted around us the first night, the moon was shining brightly (nearly at full), bats chirped (squeaked?) in the darkness, and there was stillness and stars and solitude. It was wonderful and relaxing, a true mini-vacation for my mini-family.
On Sunday, we drove north on the Blue Ridge Parkway from the entrance by Mt. Pisgah and onto the Linn Cove Viaduct. This is an interesting feature of architecture. Here the parkway literally comes off the mountain and over the valley. This had to be done to protect the fragile native habitat. It's worth the drive to see the viaduct, especially in the autumn.
My future husband was of course wonderful and brilliant and helpful on this trip. I was less than appreciative of his efforts, for which I am very sorry. Working on my appreciation when people I love do something good in my life is one of the things I need to work on, as is looking for the positive instead of the negative. This change is something I hope to accomplish soon with my happiness project (which I've slacked off on lately, I'm afraid). The best thing to do is look at any mistakes that I make on this path of personal growth and learn from them. It is a lesson that perhaps many people need to take to heart on their own life paths.
Camping + nature + autumn in the Blue Ridge Mountains equals a state of happiness that I would like to feel every day. Spending time out in nature is often a spiritual and religious experience for me. I come back feeling refreshed and grounded. I also come back feeling very inspired (it works some major mojo on writer's block).
This will be our last camping trip of the year because the rest of October is pretty well booked for us (my cousin is getting married at the end of the month and I will be traveling to that) and winter is fast approaching (which means - gasp! - so is Christmas). We went camping twice this year (that's one more than last year and I can't even count how many years it had been before that since I'd gone). We plan on making more than two trips next year as well as one day taking our children on camping trips so they can love and appreciate nature the way that we do.
Nature, my friends, is beautiful and powerful and uplifting, not just in the color splendor of autumn but any time of the year, even in the white stillness of winter. If you have the opportunity to get out, whether it's in the mountains or a local forest or a lake, do it! You will come back with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor and a new outlook on the world. Nature is good for your soul.
Seriously, roasted marshmallows/Hershey bar/graham cracker combos and non-existent indoor plumbing aside, camping is one of my favorite things to do outdoors. The forest and the surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains (primarily above 3000 feet) were a kaleidoscope of reds, oranges, and golds. Owls hooted around us the first night, the moon was shining brightly (nearly at full), bats chirped (squeaked?) in the darkness, and there was stillness and stars and solitude. It was wonderful and relaxing, a true mini-vacation for my mini-family.
On Sunday, we drove north on the Blue Ridge Parkway from the entrance by Mt. Pisgah and onto the Linn Cove Viaduct. This is an interesting feature of architecture. Here the parkway literally comes off the mountain and over the valley. This had to be done to protect the fragile native habitat. It's worth the drive to see the viaduct, especially in the autumn.
My future husband was of course wonderful and brilliant and helpful on this trip. I was less than appreciative of his efforts, for which I am very sorry. Working on my appreciation when people I love do something good in my life is one of the things I need to work on, as is looking for the positive instead of the negative. This change is something I hope to accomplish soon with my happiness project (which I've slacked off on lately, I'm afraid). The best thing to do is look at any mistakes that I make on this path of personal growth and learn from them. It is a lesson that perhaps many people need to take to heart on their own life paths.
Camping + nature + autumn in the Blue Ridge Mountains equals a state of happiness that I would like to feel every day. Spending time out in nature is often a spiritual and religious experience for me. I come back feeling refreshed and grounded. I also come back feeling very inspired (it works some major mojo on writer's block).
This will be our last camping trip of the year because the rest of October is pretty well booked for us (my cousin is getting married at the end of the month and I will be traveling to that) and winter is fast approaching (which means - gasp! - so is Christmas). We went camping twice this year (that's one more than last year and I can't even count how many years it had been before that since I'd gone). We plan on making more than two trips next year as well as one day taking our children on camping trips so they can love and appreciate nature the way that we do.
Nature, my friends, is beautiful and powerful and uplifting, not just in the color splendor of autumn but any time of the year, even in the white stillness of winter. If you have the opportunity to get out, whether it's in the mountains or a local forest or a lake, do it! You will come back with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor and a new outlook on the world. Nature is good for your soul.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
My New 13 Personal Commandments
I know that when I first finished The Happiness Project that I came up with personal commandments, much like the author Gretchen Rubin did. The last few days of this week, in my free time, I made a list of things I could do to bring more happiness to my life. I figured that although I'd written down some resolutions, this exercise would help me finalize them. It did! Not only that, it helped me come up with a new 13 personal commandments (also known as rules to live life by).
1) Remember to say "Thank you"
2) Remember to breathe
3) Treat others with fairness and respect
4) Look within myself
5) Ask for help
6) Follow my passions
7) Open heart, open mind
8) Live in the moment
9) Choose my words carefully
10) Listen
11) Keep the faith
12) Live life to the fullest
13) Be happy
I typed these commandments up and printed them out. One I keep at my desk at work. The other I'm going to put up on my vision board (a useful visualization tool that I picked up from The Secret).
I think I'm going to do something similar to what Gretchen Rubin did and focus on a specific idea every month. For her first month, she did "Vitality" and "Energy". I'll make October my first month and I think I'll start with "Energy" as well. Now just to figure out the resolutions I want to focus on this month in my own happiness project.
Happy October, everyone!
1) Remember to say "Thank you"
2) Remember to breathe
3) Treat others with fairness and respect
4) Look within myself
5) Ask for help
6) Follow my passions
7) Open heart, open mind
8) Live in the moment
9) Choose my words carefully
10) Listen
11) Keep the faith
12) Live life to the fullest
13) Be happy
I typed these commandments up and printed them out. One I keep at my desk at work. The other I'm going to put up on my vision board (a useful visualization tool that I picked up from The Secret).
I think I'm going to do something similar to what Gretchen Rubin did and focus on a specific idea every month. For her first month, she did "Vitality" and "Energy". I'll make October my first month and I think I'll start with "Energy" as well. Now just to figure out the resolutions I want to focus on this month in my own happiness project.
Happy October, everyone!
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